big girl bed and big tree

This weekend we hit a major milestone for Fay. We had her sleep in her new big girl bed for the first time. When we first outfitted Fay's room we chose a smaller than regular size crib, so that it would take up less room. Now that she is two, and tall for her age, it seems time to give her a little more room to sleep.

I'm happy to report (knock on wood), that everything has gone smoothly so far. Fay was pretty excited about the new bed, so that was an encouraging sign. And when we put her in it on Saturday night, she laid right down and didn't make a peep. I was shocked.

For Sunday nap she asked to sleep in her crib again, but for Sunday night, she slept in the big bed. I haven't gotten her under the covers yet, or using the pillow. I figure we'll take it in steps.



On another note, we had a great little family weekend. Ryan suggested going to see the NYC Xmas sights -- like the tree and the Xmas display at Saks, so we headed up on Saturday morning. I forget how infrequently Fay really gets out of the neighborhood. She was delighted with all the Xmas things, but also with the bustle of the city and all the amazing 5th Ave stores. We topped it off with a stop at FAO Schwartz.

Friends' Thanksgiving

We went away for our annual Friends' Thanksgiving last weekend. And we had a really good time. We shared a house in Bridgehampton with 8 friends and 6 kids. Ryan may have summed it up last night when we were talking about our weekend. He said -- I don't think I had very many adult conversations. The weekend seemed to revolve around enjoying our kids and entertaining our kids while we tried to enjoy ourselves. One of the families was from the west coast, and were trying to keep their kids on west coast time...so we had east coast kids up at 6am and west coast kids up until midnight. There wasn't much time left for drunken poker games that we might have had in past years.



Best partier award goes to Fay. After a late Friday night up with her pals, and a short nap on Saturday, Fay literally passed out on the kitchen floor. Plenty of noise was being made around her while she slumbered for 2 hours in the middle of the action.

MAS!

So we made it though Halloween. You can check out all the photos on Flickr. Ryan, Fay and I want as a family of ladybugs. We mostly spent our time in the playroom with our neighborhood friends, and went trick or treating in the building....

More interesting though, is the arrival of Fay's new favorite word: "Mas!" At first I had no idea what she was saying. Then I couldn't help but think she was saying the Spanish word for more = mas ("more" is one of her favorite words after all). But finally, after much gesturing and context, I got the meaning. She is saying "MINE!!!" [Those exclamation points are Fay's not mine]

When she started nursery school 2 months ago, her teacher warned me that she would begin to say "mine" if she wasn't already. It took a lot longer than I thought, and I'm a little surprised that she has such a funny pronunciation. I can't help but wonder if the Mandarin word for "mine" sounds like "mas". Total long shot right?

birthday weekend

I'm a little overwhelmed to write this post because there is just so much to tell from last weekend. Fay turned 2 on Thursday and her two grandmas came into town on Thursday night to celebrate.

We had a whirlwind event filled weekend for the adults and kids. On Friday, Fay opened her brand new dollhouse from her Grandma Sandy and proceeded to play with it anytime she could. The dollhouse has furniture that you can buy separately. And along with the baby room and parents room, we were fortunate that Target sent not one grandma and stroller, but TWO. It was as if they knew that Fay had two grandmas visiting.

On Friday night, Ryan, Jess, Grandma Sandy and Nana Jan went to Dizzy's Club (Lincoln Center Jazz club) for dinner and music. The music was amazing. We really didn't know what to expect from a high profile jazz venue in nyc (rather than a small jazz club), and we were happily surprised.

Saturday morning was the big party day. We spent the morning preparing for the party and waiting for the bagel delivery. When you live in Jewish neighborhood, its hard to get delivery of bagels on Saturday morning because the bakerys are observing Shabbat. So we had to call out to another neighborhood. And I think the bike delivery man didn't know he had such a hike. The bagels were 45 minutes late, but they still arrived in time for the party, so we were all good.

The party was so much fun. We had about 15 toddlers and their parents in our newly renovated playroom. I don't think I have a photo that captures the toddler chaos at its high point. I just remember how loud it got at one point and thinking, this could drive anyone crazy! It may have been at that point that people started to leave and the room started to calm. Perhaps toddler parties have a built in size control based on noise tolerance.



Fay took about 2 hours to really warm up to the idea of the party. I think she was either overwhelmed, or just being a 2 year old. Before the party she refused to wear her new *adorable* party outfit that her Nana Jan had brought. She kicked and wriggled and refused to wear it. Finally we dressed her in all her pink sparkles and convinced her she looked a bit like a princess. that seemed to help a little. I'm sure I'll think back on this moment as she enters her princess years.

On Saturday night, the grandmas had an opportunity to babysit Fay. And Ryan and I had an early night out with dinner and a CMJ show. We saw Mum, an Icelandic band which we really liked. We were at Le Poisson Rouge, a club in the West Village I've never been to. It was a great venue with a separate bar area and a large music area. There really wasn't a bad place to stand to see the band.

On Sunday, the grandmas flew home and that was the end of our birthday weekend. However! we still managed to pack in one more fun toddler activity. We went to the Queens County Farm with our neighborhood friends. I would highly recommend this outing. They had sooo many activities to choose from. We fed the chickens, rode the hayride, picked out a pumpkin, attempted to ride a pony (crying). We didn't have a chance to go through the corn maze or watch the pig races. Maybe next time. http://www.queensfarm.org/

1 year 364 days

Fay turns two tomorrow. Wow. Its hard to believe I've been a mom for two full years. And we've all survived pretty well. Fay is thriving, I am working part-time and Ryan is starting a business. Ryan and I had a long talk the other night. A kind of state of the union, with the union being our marriage and lives. We talked about how we will probably look back on these days as some of the best. Even though the entrepreneurial experience is a tough one, and raising a 2 year old is exhausting, they both bring pretty extreme highs.

Today I was at the playground with Fay and her neighborhood friends and she was exhibiting the most cranky, antagonistic behavior I've ever seen on her. After it lasted for a hour or so, and there was no making her happy, I had a horrible thought: "Oh no, is this it? Is this the terrible twos?!" It would be a little convienient, being that she is turning two tomorrow. But, man, I would hate to loose my little sweetheart. So far she only gets ruffled when I am not letting her be independent, or when I am feeding her something she does not want to eat.

But today, she was just plain cranky. Her best girl friend came up to her to play and she reached ot and gave a little push instead, as if to say "stay away from me". And when I tried to get near to play or comfort her, she said "No" and lead me away from her.

I guess we'll see what the coming weeks bring. If I'm right, and she's transforming before my eyes, Ryan and my prediction about these times being the best of our lives may already have come true and passed. (wink)

This generation's parenting

I found this New Yorker article really interesting. It caught my attention because within the first couple paragraphs it has managed to eerily describe many of the phrases I and my mommy friends use to deal with difficult toddler moments.

http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/atlarge/2009/10/19/091019crat_atlarge_zalewski?currentPage=1

I took this to heart. I think it is funny that each generation tries to improve upon the last by changing the words they use, or the punishment, or the psychology. And yet, we still have terrible twos and kids that won't eat, and tears and fights. So I found myself examining my own choices and laughing at myself a bit.

One of the things I have found extremely useful, as you may have noticed by my posts, is teaching Fay sign language to augment her verbal skills. She loves the accomplishment she feels when she signs a new word. And I love being able to understand her because the gesture clarifies the mispronounced word.

I haven't turned to picture books to help me teach Fay certain lessons, though I know some of my friends have. I've seen books mostly on tantrums and bad behavior (throwing, hitting, yelling), where the main character exhibits these behaviors and is then taught a lesson or given a time-out.

This article criticises a TON of children's books for depicting bad behavior, and then not punishing the child enough. The writer seems to think these books are condoning bad behavior, or simply writing about the current state of the child-parent relationship: one in which the parent looses all control.

I found myself becoming increasingly irritated with the criticism of these books for a couple of reasons.

1. These books are not school curriculum, they are not primary tools that parents use to rear their children. They are books. Some are meant to help create empathy in children, some are used for entertainment. Some are subtle, some are not. We cannot expect them to be more than they are -- entertainment with some teaching mixed in.
2. I found myself asking in my head "Does this person have kids?" Every child is different. And every day brings a different challenge for parents. If you ever see a parent give their kid a cupcake after the kid has had enough, or too soon after bad behavior, you may not know the full story. Just yesterday, my husband was questioning the fact that I gave Fay a second meal after she refused to eat her delectable pizza dinner. I told him that I thought it was justified because she had had pizza the day before and was perhaps bored with the choice.

Every parenting decision is based on many inputs and circumstances. When there are quite a few books out there about how to behave correctly and how to give time outs and say your sorry, I think it is perfectly acceptable to see a couple books tell children that it can be fun to misbehave and show some spirit. How a parent chooses to interpret those books and explain them to their children is up to them.

Fay wants to wear a dress

Yesterday morning, Fay and I were getting ready to go to the zoo with our friends Dia and Maurice. I was getting myself ready in the bathroom mirror and Fay was impatiently waiting for me at the bathroom door. I decided to keep her busy with some conversation. I asked her "What do you want to wear today?" I really was not expecting an answer because if Fay had her way, she would wear nothing but her birthday suit. But Fay blurted out "dess!", and along with it did the sign for dress (both hands following the line of a dress from the waist down). It was the first time she has done that sign. It was also the first time she has told me what she wants to wear. Many firsts in one moment. Made me want to tear up.

And then I thought. Oh, no, do we have a 2 yr old sized Fall/Winter dress that would be warm enough for today?!! Luckily, we had a brilliant hand me down from, I think, our friend Jen.

Later in the afternoon, we took a bike ride with Daddy and capture the beautiful photo above.