My original return to work date for maternity leave was last Wed. Feb 20th. But as that day approached I reached out to my employer and asked them to not have me start work until there was a project in place. I work as a consultant, so where there are no projects available, I sit on "the bench". Which means I get paid to work on internal projects or proposals etc. But mostly, they just try to keep me busy. That would be hard to handle knowing my new little baby girl was missing me at home. (Or I am missing her!) They agreed and I was expecting to have an additional couple weeks at home with Fay.
But I got an email last Friday requesting that I attend a training class M-W of this week. I could have said no, its too short of notice. But my nanny was available and it would be good training for the project that will start soon. So I've been thrust into returning to work, and it has not been easy, emotionally. Yesterday I woke up with a stomach ache that was on and off all day. I really do believe it was due to the anxiety of leaving Fay (rather than food poisoning or Flu). Today, as I was leaving the house I got all choked up. No tears, but almost tears.
Its such a tough spot to be in. I know I will enjoy working again, but there is no getting around missing Fay. We've really bonded over the past couple months. She's my little love.